643| 61
|
古典词二十四期创作班第十一讲纯熙组作业贴 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好诗友!这首词文从字顺,层次清楚,主题明确。问题是,虚笔有点多,实笔偏少。感情如何甜蜜,具体意象表达不够充分,不够丝滑蕴藉。用语也稍显浅白空洞,缺乏词味,尚需打磨。个见,仅供参考。
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-22 15:16 , Processed in 0.141602 second(s), 20 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.