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古典元曲一期小桥组第六讲作业贴 |
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北曲正宫塞鸿秋 相思
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点评
问好小兮,首句“听潮啸”建议换个概括性强些的词,否则,和第二句勾联弱了。最后一拍“蓝花”有点突兀,加油!
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点评
问好守一,小曲写的趣味横生,赞!若挑骨头,前五句都是写各种动作,缺乏层次感和变化。个见哈,说错勿怪!加油!
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点评
问好文竹,首拍“烟柳”和煞尾“秋光”矛盾了吧,第三拍建议写人,因为首拍已经写景了,个见哈,说错勿怪,加油!
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