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古典词十八期紫竹组第十二讲作业贴 |
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点评
问好诗友,旧事用观不合适,高层,平房,土屋,这几个词意思接近太浪费字了,整个词用词过于直白,词味和美感欠缺。
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点评
问好如雪诗友,此词脉落不清晰,用词有待斟酌,行文时句与句之间念意思没有拓开,多读一些例词,加油!
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