楼主: 口心雨
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古典诗十四期五律第二讲晴组作业贴: |
点评
章法对,选取物象也挺好。格律基本功还不扎实,思乡的思是动词,平声,此处出律,应仄;二联花与落对仗不明显,无媚态对恨秋凉也对仗太宽。
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点评
姜郎老师评:先景后情,章法符合要求。鸥翅随波远,鸥翅着眼太小易歧义,不如写整体如鸥影之类,个见
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