楼主: 诗雨后柳
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古典词十九初级班第四讲望梅组作业贴 |
点评
问好云水无心。小词语句流畅,把一幅鱼嬉莲底,霞光中风动荷摇,清露滚落的画面,徐徐展开在眼前。凝是,可再斟酌下,若无风,前面的景就无依托。。起拍,稍有点浪费笔墨。曲院风荷是主体,伊人有点抢镜了!
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