楼主: 诗雨后柳
|
古典词二十初级班凌霜组第三讲作业贴 |
点评
问好诗友。这首词整体不错。起拍,尚可,窗柳低垂即可,长对让句子松散了些。羁客一词比较好,略知愁绪何来,煞尾句不错,以景结情。加油!
| ||
点评
问好诗友。这首词写事比较清楚,句子间衔接比较紧。整体不错。趣字描述不够,如胆颤心思不定,还有煞尾句,还可再明晰些。
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-22 20:34 , Processed in 0.125000 second(s), 25 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.