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词十五初级班第十二讲易安组作业贴,评阅老师:洲雪5-21、润龙剩余楼层 |
点评
初心你好,上阕的“何”韵部错了,下阕的“水”平仄错了。“音信却疏疏”。重字无必要,为对仗(最好):家信也荒疏“。下片一二三句意思不太连贯。
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