楼主: 凤子
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古典文学院词九基础班角组第三讲作业帖——评阅老师:单层 白可心、双层 落日下的余晖 |
点评
问好余廑,此小令脉络衔接不够好,三字对仗与前面景隔,布局不明确,画面没特写,感情不细腻。希多加锤炼,多看,多读,多练
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