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古典词27期创作班流风组第一讲作业帖 |
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点评
感觉景与情不太合适,云烟太重,而心清如水,鸟轻啼用看不合适哟,上片是白天,下片是晚上了,中间没有过渡。渊字用的不好,念字再想想。
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|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
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