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古典词二十四期创作班第三讲绮霞组作业贴 |
点评
问好学友:单独的每一句表意都不错,但协拍之间的连接不够紧,从而形各说各的句意;“忽有”、“安得”需斟。结句的“庄蝶舞流星”似乎不应在同一镜头里。个见
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