楼主: 蒲公英168
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古典词二十二期初级班第十一讲清曲组作业贴 |
点评
本词脉络清晰,但注意炼字炼意。读后个别处有凑韵之嫌。如:四十三年如电抹。抹字不当。但煞尾句较好。继续加油!
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点评
本词上下片脉胳清晰,但注意韵字,个别处凑韵之嫌:如电沫,沫字费解。假山西畔药王过,这句不解。煞尾句写得好,继续加油!
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