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古典诗十四期五律第十一讲秋组作业贴: |
点评
问好学友,格律正确!起承转合恰到好处,好诗!只是自梦人不太好理解,是指圆梦人?尾联如何将至老有些兀突,不太明了!
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点评
问好学友,首联上分句、三联上分句孤平,三联下分句“无”应为仄。“无”重字。首联点题,写云的状态,二联承接扩展,巫峡雨、洞庭风构思精妙!三联转的不知其意!尾联更不知什么意思。转合以景入情没有表现出来!
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