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词十七初级班第五讲驭风组作业贴 |
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点评
第四句过于直白,雁声寒好于人更寒。九九登高,江楼就显得无味,家乡遥望重山隔。下片煞尾两句不知所云,乘风楚地游,君家在楚地,故乡何可游?当年一别心事何也?写作首先理清要说啥,然后落笔。努力吧!
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