楼主: 竺子小溪
|
词十五创作班第十八讲易安组作业贴,同学之间互评(以各组长安排为准) |
点评
简评:此作手法为两开两合,句式组合尚可,脉络较流畅,不足之处二拍皆字,文本叙意单身籍秋引发相思之苦,所以皆字可待斟酌,结拍有字,流年似水大千世界人来人往,啥都缺唯独不缺人,建议此有字加炼!
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-11-16 11:04 , Processed in 0.101288 second(s), 22 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.