楼主: 竺子小溪
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词十五创作班第一讲梦窗组作业贴,评阅老师:烟雨阁5-10、杨荣11-16、锦色17-22、... |
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点评
整体还不错,我见犹怜。首句四字还可斟酌。下片梨花略微不妥,一为颜色,与水流红有所犯冲,二为季节,与上文梅季相隔略远。
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