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词十五初级班第七讲易安组作业贴,评阅老师:墨问8-26、小溪剩余楼层 |
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点评
简评:作者借景抒情手法不错,脉络通畅,不足之处二拍首句,无事二字与后拍盼恨怨不相融融,结拍首句浪费了字词望斟酌!
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点评
简评:细读佳作整首作品脉络有阻,句式过于悲伤,组词造句稍觉生硬,如起拍,小桥寒,锁定目标太小,二句来了轻暖语法不通,缺乏自然和神韵感之作!建议细心听课,用心下笔!
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