楼主: 聆听花语
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词十四基础班第六讲兰台组作业贴;评阅老师:单层《秋月》,双层《杏儿》 |
点评
问好弯弯,整首诗给人淡淡的忧愁之感。表达对时间的流逝的感慨。语言通俗易懂,个别用字还需注意,例如结句“想”还是“向”
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点评
问好清尘,不错的诗,因为父病而担忧,人之长情。遣词造句还需努力,例如两个“却”
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