楼主: 竹雨心情
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古典诗八五律十四讲春组作业贴 |
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点评
烟儿点评:“机”“饥”——连韵,用词有些生硬,建议多读古人诗句。尾句有点直白,建议以景结可能会更好一些。整体脉络清晰,加强语感和炼字会更上一层楼。个见哈,欢迎互相交流!
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