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古典词二十六期创作班灵泽组第八讲作业帖 |
点评
问候兰兮!起拍初夏过于笼统,宜点明具体物象。上下片的和应、谁顾,可提升。结拍的“谁怜”情感基调不太和谐,可酌。其他地方还可以。期待下期精彩!
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点评
问候君荷!上片自然流畅,下片由景入情,意脉连贯,”一时非”有些凑韵,,结句的满襟似有提升空间。个见仅供参考。
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