|
词十七创作班第三讲听雪组作业贴 |
| ||
点评
起片不足,引领通篇力道不足,加长岸可酌,后承接有力,文意连绵不绝,尾结不错
| ||
点评
起篇当时句,可酌,过片庭前青柳句可酌,其他都很不错,尾结好看,上片尾结情绪酝酿的很好,下片尾结,延展的更好,寓情于景,情景相融,很棒!
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-4-19 14:18 , Processed in 0.130891 second(s), 20 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.