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词十七初级班第十四讲抱月组作业贴 |
点评
问好慕容秋水。格律正确。上阕首二句不错,衔接紧密,好看。下阕由回忆拉回到现在,章法平稳,一个问句是全词高潮,昔时换成彼时更好,结句景结留有余味,不错的小词,加油。
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