楼主: 逍遥客
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词十四创作班第二讲星辰组作业贴:点评单层冷小月,双层大陈 |
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点评
问好绿色田野 学友;您这次春赏杏花的时间跨度太大了吧。上下阕缺少衔接,以至于上阕说滴是一个事,下阕说的是另一回事。上阕是早春,下阕是暮春。再修改修改好吗?祝学习愉快!
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