楼主: 聆听花语
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古典词十二期中级班第二讲浣纱组作业贴;评阅老师:单层《玫瑰》,双层《天真汉》 |
点评
格律自校。既是咏梅,起拍一句松鹤断崖边,让人迷茫。不如换成自在断崖边。整体流于俗套,结拍总把英姿挺,见新意。
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