1295| 25
|
中级班春雷组第二讲作业贴。 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
作业要求以“思乡”为题,本诗首联颔联先写了盛夏雷雨之后转为清凉的雨后情景。接下来颈和尾联却写了思念在异乡的君郎而不是思乡,不切题了!
| ||
点评
浅评:此律名为“思乡”,却难见思乡,首二联远走他乡,仿佛是为了看病,颈联“时见有微长”不知何意,尾联应该是身体康复,心情好了。总体看来,文不对题,文字浅显,诗味寡然。建议想好了在写…
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-22 23:45 , Processed in 0.124676 second(s), 23 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.