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古典词十八期创作班幽兰组第九讲作业贴 |
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点评
点评:题图应是梦想。上阙写时光渐老,下阙写梦想自己更年轻。上下阙换头处连接不紧密,脱节了
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点评
点评:脉络不清晰,物像选择不准确,有点乱。结尾不错,
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点评
点评:脉络清晰,立意明确。上阙写梦中,下阙写梦醒。后的失落,尾句可再升华。不错。
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