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古典词十六初级班第十五讲木兰组作业贴 |
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点评
问好一笛风学友;本首作业格律韵部均正确,赞!词文有些咏物词的味道,但是还要加强练习哈。譬如说;霜和露是两种自然现象有温差滴,微寒轻笼雾与水扬云起,雨侵风怒。都有景隔的问题,以后尽量避免!
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点评
问好羽晗,这春夜情思,写的尚可。感情真挚,说下不足。上片、恍似见、匆匆去,不妥,里,内。。需要修改。注意下重字。。。
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