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 | 古典词27期初级班流风组第12讲作业帖 | 
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 点评
缺少一个合理的题目?描写的太乱了?在衔接上不统一。 
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 点评
首句看不好,后面押重了,新,欣一个音不好。楼台与亭阁一个意思。整体感觉跳跃大,主线不明显。 
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 |Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
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