2146| 59
|
古典词二十四期创作班第十一讲绮霞组作业贴 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问候学友!起拍对仗工整!好句!学习了!细读下来,感觉意脉欠流畅,上下片时空错乱,各说各的,赏荷花,折翠盖,约周公,似乎与醉酒挥毫的下片无过渡,却衔接。个见仅供参考!
| ||
点评
问好学友:这阙词意脉连续、言浅意明。“鲤”字出格,个别地方用字须再斟酌
| ||
点评
问好学友:这阙《满庭芳》读来不知所云,完全是凑句;需多读讲义。个见
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-5-11 06:19 , Processed in 0.130918 second(s), 27 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.