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词十七初级班第二讲抱月组作业贴 |
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点评
对偶句(难再续)(却无缘)意思过近,整体蕴藉少,立意浅
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点评
(珠)(玉)(悦)平仄不对,起拍重心落在秋雨上,所以(入归溪谷水流潺)这句就显弱。(竞)不太准,整体还可以
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点评
(情)出韵,(早)出律。(伴陪)用一个。中间对偶部分不知所云,所以整篇就乱了。
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