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古典词十三期创作班第七讲浮槎组作业贴,评阅老师锦瑟/双层,单层/易凡 |
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点评
问好同学,格律无误。总体这首词,写的零乱,起拍有感镜中白发,然后转到水边漫步,再后庭中看月,转拍清晨,看山,看柳还有水,甚至孤鸿。意象没有安排合理,想写的千头万绪,在立意上还有欠缺,多加强练习。个见。
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