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词十四基础班第六讲画楼组作业贴;评阅老师:单层《润龙》,双层《梅下吹笛》 |
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点评
云游哥你好,此阕填的不错,意好情真。说点不足,“聒”意可以,但用在风上还需斟酌一二。还有两个字的平仄用错,“倚”是仄声,要用平,用“依”如何?另“几”用于香几、茶几时是平,几回时是仄。用“回回”?
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