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古典词十二期中级班第一讲浣纱组作业贴;评阅老师:单层《云卷云舒》,双层《涟漪》 |
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点评
一句和二句重复,飞絮和杨柳,碰杯声和万家声太直白
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点评
构思比较混乱,影沉沉,是晚上,过片又是落英满径,晚上看不见花吧
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