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古典词二十四期初级班第二讲香雪组作业贴 |
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点评
闲言碎语:问好诗友,格律自检。首句耐看,居青山而不逐名利,余生淡,是前句的缩写 ,有意重,建议换掉,添一与为梅痴并列句子会更好看。
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点评
闲言碎语:问好诗友,格律自检。以诗以月
寄托情感,结句破题,词词这东西,其实不破题才好看,让读者感受,揣摩,所谓景语皆情语。
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