4654| 44
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词十四基础班第十三讲灵犀组作业贴,单层:巧笑倩兮,双层:杨荣 |
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点评
问好同学。首拍旷野青云不能散尽,过了清明,限定了时间,七字句映衬此时点。上结尚可。转拍在清明后的所思,表达上可以,字句间可再凝练,避免口水。个见
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点评
问好同学。整体表达尚好,从头到尾以景为主,情感略淡。
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