917| 53
|
古典诗十七·七律第24讲晴组作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
点评
水中望月友好!这首诗格律正确,句子通顺,鸡蛋里挑骨头,尾联有点远了,你说的来年是新叶吧,这和今年的落叶关系不大,再说新叶逢春,春风也不狂吹,春风是和煦的,秋风一吹,还是落,借物抒情的切入点没找好,个见
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-1-3 06:15 , Processed in 0.140261 second(s), 23 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.