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古典诗十八期绕梁组第二十六讲作业贴 |
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点评
问好诗友!纵观全诗,意脉不顺,立意不明,练词造句尚欠功夫。首先,用“婉约贞姿”形容桃花似有不妥,况且起承两句相隔,既然是蓓蕾中,何来艳丽绽放,且承句的“丽”字出律,转句“逢遇”造词,结句不知所云。
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点评
浅评:起句幽香绘以桃花意欠佳,承句未承接好,结句意与景显脱节了。个见
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点评
起承二句这再酌,桃花款款来??转合句与前二句意无关
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