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古典诗十七.五律第23讲秋组作业帖 |
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点评
问好雨蒙蒙同学,这首诗立意可以,起承转合顺其自然,全詩都是围绕主题《悔》去写,问题是颔联“功课敷衍去,衍字是仄声,应平。手机仔细牵。这句犯了孤平,应该斟酌一下。
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