楼主: 竹雨心情
|
古典诗十四期基础第八讲冬组作业贴: |
点评
起承两句,感觉怎么像病句。转句船应该在水上游才对,结句。突兀,
| ||
点评
起句,正入诗感觉是凑的哦。承句,前四后三说不通,转句,阳春染水,有这种写法?尾联一棹移,可以换个更好的
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-1-3 06:38 , Processed in 0.125648 second(s), 20 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.