楼主: 云淡风清
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古典词十三基础班第七讲袷衣组作业贴评阅;倾城2-12,红鲤13后, |
点评
问好飘零叶!上片不错,意念做起,曾经如何。下片结的不是很好,前三句已经过于笼统了,结句应收回,既然爱月,就该顺势以爱月做结,把梦收回,也做前后呼应。个见
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