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词十七初级班第十三讲抱月组作业贴 |
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点评
问好无情。也是66755格式,上片开篇味淡了,词句过随意,欠凝炼。下片天真依旧在芳容,在字修改成映好看些。加油
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点评
问好同学,从描摹上说很到位。读来也很生动。体裁趋向说文。改造成曲也行
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