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词十三创作班第十四讲浮槎组作业贴:单层红鲤,双层佬诡梓 |
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点评
问好琳达 !上片后几句稍乱,下片不错,结的很好。然,有些词语当炼,比如对仗句。加油!
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点评
问好简单的幸福!此词格律正确。上片景物太多显凑了,后两句急转又显仓促。下片好于上片,尤其结句留有回味,还不错。加油!
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